About

I’m supposed to explain what this blog is ‘About’.  Well, it’s “all about me”, which I’m told is a skill I possess, so it’s a perfect match!

Basics:

  • I’m bipolar II. It’s like the pesky younger sibling of bipolar I. It doesn’t look identical, but shares enough of the same mannerisms there’s no doubt they’re family.
  • I also have panic/anxiety disorder(s), I tend toward depression, but I get to be hypomanic (which means I don’t sleep, I start and/or finish art projects, I get lots of cool ideas, I cook dinners to freeze, and I go on cleaning binges). All of which (I’m told) is concerning, but I really think it’s my super power.
  • I love my dog. He’s my biggest source of joy, and I have more pictures on my phone of him than most of my family members. Which, oddly enough, doesn’t bother any of them, because he’s the best dog ever. Best. Dog. Ever.
  • I feed birds. Another source of joy.
  • I thrive on routine. Though I’ve been working on it, I become derailed rather quickly when my routine is interrupted. I’m told this is OCD, but I don’t think being organized, tidying up, making sure tasks get done, and not liking people to take my scrapbooking scissors are cause for concern. Plus, I dust around things, and I don’t always move furniture when I’m vacuuming.

I digress…

I’ve attempted to blog before, each one limited to a specific goal or topic.  Those played out pretty quickly as I bored myself to tears.  I mean, seriously, who wants to hear about my weight loss progress, new exercise program, or fantastically unachievable New Year’s Resolution play-by-play?  Not even me, which is why I attempted (unsuccessfully) to foist it off on everyone else.  So essentially, I was talking to myself.

(By the way, I just googled ‘unachievable’ due to the red squiggly spelling error line, and it’s in the dictionary, so, what the heck? Now I have 3 red squiggly spelling errors as ‘googled’ isn’t a word either. Sigh. 4 red squiggly lines.)

What is “bajiggity” (OMG 5 red squiggly lines. Crap, 6 red squiggly lines for OMG! Sigh. Red squiggly line count is now 7)?  For me, it’s a swarm of butterflies in the pit of my stomach that makes everything feel WRONG.  It’s that sinking feeling that no one ‘gets’ me.  It’s being delighted by the sunshine in the eye of the storm, only to realize the wind is going to kick up again and mess my hair up from the opposite direction. It’s having brain tornadoes that make my thoughts whirl around and around with nowhere to go, and no way to stop them.

So, here I am.  It’s very possible that I’ll lose interest in this and disappear.  (Oops, I was literally just distracted by a squirrel hanging on my bird feeder. I tried to take a photo to prove it, but the thing ran away by the time I found my phone & turned on the camera…).  I’d like it to turn out differently, but my track record doesn’t bode well for the consistency of this blog.

Also, names may have or will be changed to protect the innocent AND guilty. You know who you are.

Claire Sabicullo